the greatest battles are those in the mind.
trust, is something extremely difficult to master.
in life, we are bound to place our trust in someone else's hands.
it's like an intangible risk-taking investment.
you won't see the rewards you are reaping directly
yet because of the trust you have given, or invested
you feel more safe with that person around, because when things go happen, or go the wrong direction, that person will be there for you.
yet, people need tangible proofs of trust.
like a marriage certificate, a bond, or lots of signatures.
why?
simply because we cannot be trusted.
absolute trust in someone is just a myth that gets played and replayed over and over again either on the TV screens or the cinema projectors.
a person waiting for his or her love for so many years because of trust, and finally, happy ending.
so many people followed this path, and what do they find?
a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?
there isn't even any rainbow to start with.
so you place your trust in someone.
when something happens,
you look for that someone.
Nope, they are not around.
you wait.
but they are still not around.
you felt cheated, betrayed.
they are supposed to be there!
because you place your trust in them.
they are supposed to be giving you the rewards you deserve.
yet, they are not there when you hit the dumps.
what happen then?
you start to lose trust.
you are afraid of trusting people again.
you close yourself inwards, and when people starts to get close to you, you push them away, because you cannot be hurt again.
you cannot stand another blow which would probably drive you crazy and make you jump down from a flat.
you feel lonely, but you prefer loneliness to getting hurt by someone you trust again.
trust is risk taking.
its one of the rish you have to take in life.
although along with it comes many possible scenarios,
you have to trust yourself to make the best of each and every of it, instead of shutting yourself out.
trust with a big heart.
have you ever wondered how many people trusted you, yet you were not there when they needed someone?
did you break their trust in you?
was it even close to intentional?
then they start to keep their distance from you.
how would you feel?
"wth! i didn't even do anything in the first place, yet i lose a friend?"
that is how others feel when you suddenly shut them out of your life because they supposedly broke the trust you have placed in their hands.
so how do we handle this issue of trust?
make everything black and white?
pen and paper everything down like marriage certificates or bonds? make it a compulsory committment not to be broken, for the consequences would ne disastrous?
no, that is the strange thing about trust.
once you materialized trust into something tangible, it no longer serves its purpose.
it is no longer called trust.
or rather, it is mistrust.
you only need to do such things if you don't trust a person.
if you trust someone with all your heart, give it a big big heart, and whatever happens, keep the trust there.
have faith.
when things don't go your way, don't blame trust instinctively, because sometimes our instincts can be gravely misleading.
continue to trust people around you, no matter what names people give you behind your back (fool, stupid, brainless, ignorant, wishful, etc), because when you trust people close to you with a big heart, the intangible rewards can be fulfilling, much more fulfilling than a marriage certificate, and lasts longer than one lifetime.
it gets passed on from generation to generation, and love is all around.
seriously, you can go around saying whatever you want.
cause, i don give a damn. (:
all i care now is my studies, and you are nothing to me.
i don know why are you doing all these stunts,
again, i don care. (:
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jia, i cant meet u guys le =(
the national day celebration is fron 5pm to 9.30pm!
boo hoo hoo!
how?
anyway, i got lots of things to tell you.
and you didnt answer your phone again!
UGH.
school is getting suckier and suckier day by day.
however, with you people around, it is slightly better (:
i love u guys as much as i love ROC (:
school rawks because of you guys (:
CECILIA